When I was a PT SAHM, I had this impression, and sometimes jealousy, of FT SAHMs. They probably rolled out of bed after their late alarm went off, took the kids to school in their pajamas (or workout clothes), watched daytime tv, snacked all day, went to story time and Lend 'n Learn and music lessons and Little Gymmers and had playdates with other SAHMs. I mean, I had the best of both worlds in my opinion: office time and home time. Adult interaction and time to clean my house.
But really, I was stressed the hec out. Mentally, it was taxing. Changing gears from work mode to home mode in less than 10 minutes, trying to keep up with the house between dropping off and picking up kids from childcare and school. I used to pride myself on my ability to multitask, physically and mentally, and now, well, now I'm just tired. And not afraid to admit it.
Thankfully, I'm privileged to be able to stay home almost FT. I never thought I'd say that. My baby gets to sleep in her own bed for all but one of her naps each week. I get to roll out of bed after my late alarm goes off, take my kids to school in my pajamas, snack all day, have playdates with other SAHMs, and if I wanted to, I'd watch daytime tv (it's just not my thing). I clean and grade papers and do laundry and cook dinner, participate in a carpool, snuggle and rock with Emma, and breathe a little easier at the end of each day.
This week, I noticed myself making another mental shift. I let my house be "messy" a little longer than usual. I read a book to the kids in the middle of the day. I scratched Ali's back as she laid on the couch before nap time. I'm hoping I'm dying a little more to my daily agenda.
Some things still frustrate me. I'm bothered by the nail polish stains on my kitchen table. And the sagging of the couch cushions. And the scuff marks under the breakfast bar. And I wonder how a friend of mine can have an immaculate house and really nice furniture and have the same # and ages of kids as I do. Then I remind myself of what I hear from people twice my age: I'll miss the nail polish marks one day. I'll have a couch that looks great and is super uncomfortable. I'll wish I could say, "Quit kicking your feet under the bar!"
Till then, I'll continue to pick up this crazy crib and try and relax a little. Don't tell me your basement has never looked like this.
