If I were half as cool as my mom.

Something you may not know about me: I was homeschooled from K-4th grade.  That's why I'm super smart.  Just kidding.

Basically, that fact makes my mom Supermom.  She was such an amazing teacher.  Some of my favorite homeschool memories was learning simple addition and subtraction using M&M's, following a hand drawn map to the donut shop to learn geography, and spending "recess" at the grocery store across the street eating a half-moon cookie.  I also have fond memories of these little cards that had science experiments on them.  Such great memories.

If I were half as cool as my mom, I'd homeschool my kids.  I'm a full believer and supporter of the idea and even the "movement," but truth be told, I'm just not cut out for it.  I could give you a million reasons why, but we won't go into that. 

Zoey is learning too fast for me to keep up with these days.  From calendar making to counting to writing, we have to be on our toes all the time.

This weekend, my mom gave me a homeschooling treasure.  It was my very first reader, part of the Bob Jones curriculum.  I gave it to Zoey today and we worked through the first couple stories.  I'm amazed at her skill, but more so, her determination.  I'm not amazed at the many reasons that surface so quickly to remind me I'm not the best teacher.  Props to all you fantastic homeschool moms and dads!

So Zoey (and our other kids) will be subject to an institutionalized learning environment - GASP! 

Thank goodness they have a super cool grandma who will fill in the gaps and a somewhat cool mom and dad who will try to fill in the gaps ;) 

Why I won't vote for a female president.

I consider myself pretty independent, strong-willed, driven, and other adjectives chosen to describe the "women's lib movement."  However, I will not vote for a female candidate running for president, and to be more direct, do not think women are cut out for this role.

Shoot me now.  Or stop reading.  Either way, I understand and hope we can still be friends.

I have been in the business world, in a male-dominated field, for 6 1/2 years now.  I am a stronger woman than I was going into it, but have come to appreciate the differences between men/women to an even greater degree since that time.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!  I think men and women are different?!  We don't share the same strengths?!  All of a sudden you think I'm not "for" equal rights?!  Equal opportunity employment?!  Come on, now.

It's a fact: men and women are different.  No matter how much we females want to be like our counterparts, or more so, "considered" identical to our counterparts, we're NOT. 

For the past two weeks, I've been working with a female insurance rep and a male insurance rep on a very important insurance-related matter.  Lots of people are involved, lots of money on the line.  I have a long-standing relationship with the female rep, I haven't even met the male rep face-to-face.

A couple days ago, I found myself defending each of the reps to the other.  I took turns "pulling" for each one.  I even made a BIG mistake out of ignorance and had to go against my female rep friend because it was the right business thing to do.  I really don't have much at stake personally, but I am pretty sure a man would not have had the internal, emotional struggles I had making this highly unemotional, professional decision.

I caught myself saying, "Take the emotions out of this, Lauren."  But really - is that possible?  To a degree, yes.  But to a greater degree, I'm emotional!  There are positives to being an emotional being, and positives to being an emotional woman being. 

We fight it and we become a little less like we were created.  It may work for a while, a long while, it may even work to our advantage in some situations.  But really, when it comes down to it, this strength of ours (mine) will prevail in the end and my internal struggles helped me come to the decision that needed to be made. 

So - back to why I won't vote for a woman presidential candidate.  Let's face it.  We're just not cut out for the job.  We're excellent managers, supervisors, CEO's, CFO's, professors, doctors, lawyers, you get it.  But there are positions of power that just weren't designed for us, in my opinion.  Like I said, stop reading if you want to shoot me. 

Running a country, a people, a Congress, a world -- it takes a man.  It takes the strengths a man was created with.  It takes the non-uber-emotional, non-uber-sensitive, non-uber-nurturing qualities of the other sex.  (Notice I inserted "uber" because I know a lot of men with those qualities in moderation which is great).   Not all men are cut out for it, not even very many men.  There are a lot of womanly men out there, and I wouldn't vote for one of these either.  But put 100 men next to 100 women and I bet there'd be more qualified men for president than women.  Just innately qualified. 

I'm happy to be a woman.  A woman manager.  A woman professional.  A woman mom.  A woman crier.  A woman emotional-decision-maker.  A woman not running for president. 

Keeping up with the Joneses

Yesterday was "meet the teacher" day.  Yay!  Zoey asked all day if it was time to go to school yet, and so did her parrot (Ali).  They both wanted to paint; I gently told them over and over again I didn't think we'd be painting at meet the teacher day.  I was right.

We walk in the classroom and Ali immediately runs up to some lady who we haven't met yet and gave her a hug.  It was the teacher's assistant.  She then proceeded to walk around and say hello to everyone and start playing with the toys.  I quickly realized I had to clarify which kid was actually going to be attending school. 

Zoey warmed up after about 20 minutes (about 5 minutes before it was time to leave) and I'm a little nervous for her first day. I'm sure she'll love it and want to go back right away, but she was quite reserved (compared to her extroverted 2nd-child sister...which is a little strange).

So Zoey is going to be a peer model in a class of 7 other kids, most of whom have some sort of learning or developmental delay. In fact, out of the 3 kids we met yesterday, 2 of them have Down Syndrome and one of them is quite hyperactive,  but quite cute as well :) In fact, I love them all already.  But I started thinking...

...are we denying our child the traditional preschool experience? You know, cute little schoolhouse-looking buildings, their best friend in their class, classic, cookie-cutter snacks, a little more playing, a little less learning...

So it begins.  Keeping up with the Joneses.  We have had to remind ourselves for a year or so now, we can't go there.  We don't want to.  But man, it's hard.  The Joneses are great.  We really like them and get along with them quite well.  But we can't compete.  We'll never win.  It'll never be worth it.  And life would be boring!  Who wants a world full of Joneses?  What about Smiths? And Andersons? And Thompsons? And Eislebens?

I can't wait to see Zoey fall in love with school, her teacher, and her new friends.  And I can't wait to see these two faces reunite at the end of each school day.  One day, Ali, one day. 

I have some messed up friends.

I've been wanting to write this blog for a while now, maybe a few months, but I'm happy I waited. Such is life for a "writer"... the longer you wait, the more inspiration comes.

I find it fitting that Ali goes around the house singing, "You make beautiful fings (things) out of dusssssssssss (dust)."  She sings this phrase at least twice a day, sometimes more.  She and I must be learning the same thing at the same time.  Jesus makes beautiful things out of the dust.  He makes beautiful things out of us.

Yep, I have some messed up friends.  Actually, I was thinking about it this morning, and I think I have more messed up friends than I have "normal" friends.  I couldn't even count on one hand the number of so-called normal friends I have.

What is normal, anyway?

Maybe I have so many messed up friends because I am messed up.  We are messed up.  Joel and I are messed up.  Lord knows, Zoey and Ali are messed up.

Almost a year ago, I was reminded of how messed up I really am.  I (we) was going through one of the hardest seasons in my life.  Luckily, during this time, I was also reminded that I (we) had a lot of really messed up friends.  They stood by us, cried with us (literally), and cheered us on.  And for now, at least, we are on the other side.

Now - about those messed up friends - some of them are still really messed up.  There are job losses.  Serious health crises.  And many, many affairs, broken marriages, addictions.  Maybe it's our age?  Our season of life?  People get bored, they think the grass is greener, they are at the fork in the road - one way leads to selfishness, the other to selflessness.  I think we all know which way is "easier..."

So do I stay or do I run away.  I mean who wants to be the friend of the messed up friend?!  It's not like it's something you look at and say, "Sign me up!"  If you choose to get involved, you're basically accepting a few months (or years) of drama, uncomfortable dinners, and forced conversations.  I would've hated to be my friend a year ago! I wanted to hang out with you, but I didn't.  I wanted to laugh, but I didn't.  I wanted to "just move on," but I didn't.  I couldn't.

God wasn't finished with me yet.  He wasn't finished with us yet.  He wasn't finished with my friends yet.  They were learning how to be better friends.  I learned how to be a better friend.  We all learned how to be messed up friends to our messed up friends.

I'm (we're) out of that mess...for now.  I'm 100% positive there will be another fork in the road, or 2, or 87.  I now have a choice to pay it forward.  Do I escape the drama and leave my messed up friends with one less messed up friend to rely on?  Or do I enter the drama and choose to see them through to the other side?  And then the next side and the next side and the next.

Do I choose to leave when it's easy and miss out on the uncomfortable dinners and forced conversations and... their Redemption's Story?

I don't blame the people who had to bow out when the going was tough during my early-life-crisis. But I am sad I don't get to share with them my (our) Redemption Story in its purest, rawest, saddest, most beautiful form.

During my recent 12-hour drive, these thoughts came full circle when this song came on my playlist.  Yes, I want to be found faithful in the relationships I've been granted.  But friendships come and go and we all mess up and I will mess up.  I will not always be faithful.  But Jesus is always faithful to me, and in the end, I want to be found faithful to Him.

Thanks to those who have been faithful to me (us), and those who will be in the days to come. Thanks for giving me a glimpse of the perfect faithfulness of Jesus.  I pray I can be the same to you in this long, but momentary life.

Opening a can.

I thought about posting this on my Facebook page as a status update, but decided it should be up to the reader to decide whether or not he/she actually wanted to read about such a controversial subject.  I respect the fact that some people get more info than they bargained for with Facebook's news feed, so hopefully if you're reading, you really want to be.  Feel free to close the window now.

Ok, you're in.  Here we go.

Pat Robertson.  President of the 700 Club.  Well-known Christian televangelist.  Probably a Christian.  Maybe not. The "maybe not" comes after I read this headline:

Pat Robertson Tells Wife Of Cheating Husband To Be Grateful For Marriage, Make Home Enticing

Forget it.  I wasn't going to post the whole article, but now I am.  

Pat Robertson has many opinions on subjects including homosexuality, politics and the coming of the Mark of the Beast, but it was the famous televangelist's opinion on marriage that took center stage during Wednesday's episode of his daily television program, "The 700 Club."

Responding to a question from a viewer, Robertson said that married men "have a tendency to wander" and it is the spurned wife's job to focus on the positive and make sure the home is so enticing, he doesn't want to stray.

"I've been trying to forgive my husband for cheating on me," the viewer writes. "We have gone to counseling, but I just can't seem to forgive, nor can I trust. How do you let go of the anger? How do you trust again?"

While Robertson's co-host hedged on the question, calling forgiveness "difficult" and spousal infidelity "one of the ultimate betrayals," Robertson got right to the point.

"Here's the secret," the famous evangelical said. "Stop talking the cheating. He cheated on you, well, he's a man."

The wife needs to focus on the reasons she married her spouse, he continued.

"Does he provide a home for you to live in," Robertson said. 'Does he provide food for you to eat? Does he provide clothes for you to wear? Is he nice to the children... Is he handsome?"

Robertson also offered a little advice on the "tendency of man."

"Recognize also, like it or not, males have a tendency to wander a little bit," Robertson said. "What you want to do is make a home so wonderful that he doesn't want to wander" or give in to the "salacious" magazine pictures and Internet filled with porn.

This is certainly not Robertson's first foray into anecdotal marital counseling, however.

In January, Robertson told viewers that "awful-looking" women can cause marriages to lose their spark.

"It just isn't something to just lie there, 'Well, I'm married to him so he's got to take me slatternly looking,'" he said. "You've got to fix yourself up, look pretty."

Similarly, in 2010 the host advised a woman complaining about her husband's flirtatious ways not to "hassle him about it" and just make herself as attractive as possible.

He also once told a husband upset that his wife didn't respect him that he could always just "become a Muslim and you could beat her." 

There are so many things WRONG with this article and with Robertson's view of marriage I can't stand it!!!

So maybe you're a Christian.  Maybe you're not.  Maybe you have a clean, tidy, quiet house waiting for your husband (or wife) when he comes home.  Maybe you don't. 

If you're a Christian, please don't think it's solely your fault if there is infidelity of any kind in your relationship with your spouse.   Granted...there is SOME truth to having a clean, tidy, quiet home for your family.  There is SOME truth about "men being men."  We all play a part in our marriage relationship.  We are all sinners. 

If you're not a Christian, please don't think all Christians are like Robertson.   I recognize there is a lot of fault in the Church as a whole and outside of Jesus, we are all condemned to Hell.  I'm sorry for the misconceptions brought to the table by this man and others like him.  I pray your heart is open to seeking who Jesus REALLY is for you and for the world.  

The point isn't, "Keep a clean house and your spouse won't have an affair."  The point is, "We all need a Savior, every day, including Pat Robertson."

End quote.

 

If you have an allergy kid, read this.

Alice Jane is my allergy kid.  She's always been a hard medical case to crack.  Surprisingly, she hasn't been that "sick, and by that I mean, hospitalized or even medicated.  But she has been sick, don't get me wrong.

It started when she was a week old and had a lot to spit up.  Granted she liked to eat, so I thought her body just couldn't handle the amount of food she was consuming.  Then she got the normal baby acne, which never really went away, but I chalked it up to the extreme humidity that summer.  After that, she had snot.  Lots of it.  But of course, she was teething, you know?  And here we are, a year and a half later, and if I hadn't thought twice, she'd still be teething according to her symptoms. 

But no, she's not teething.  She is sneezing.  And itching.  And whining.  And coughing.  At least she's not screaming when she goes #2 like she did for the first year of her life...

After she started drinking whole milk at age 1, she had her first prick test to check for allergies.  She tested positive for an allergy to dairy and eggs.  We didn't test for environmental allergies because "she had only been through one season," according to the allergist.  We took her off milk and eggs, but continued to give her other dairy products.  A few weeks later, she had a massive breakout and I had enough.  No more mac 'n cheese, no more yogurt, no more of that beloved, pumped-with-hormones milk.  We started soy.

Horrible idea.  Don't ever do it. 

2 more months go by, diarrhea every day.  I finally get my act together and switch to almond milk.  No, I wasn't worried about her growth.  She eats everything that walks.  I didn't have another alternative, beside $40/can formula (gag me).  Almond milk has served us well.  So has almond milk yogurt, Tofutti Sour Cream and Cream Cheese, Rice Cheese slices and shreds...until now.

A month ago, she started breaking out again.  Her back was raw for a week - to the point I put those big, square band-aids across her diaper line to keep her from scratching.  It worked.  She was off all her trigger foods?!  What was the deal?! 

Insert note: I let her cheat once a week at church so she can have Cheddar Bunnies in her class.  Pretty sure it's the highlight of her week.
I made an appointment for her to see Dr. Fowler at Fowler Allergy.  The first opening was June.  Better late than never.  2 weeks later (last week), they let me know they had a cancellation and we found ourselves there for 3 hours yesterday.  Lots of talking, lots of poking, lots of information. 

Here's some things I learned:

• Viruses and bacteria love mucus.  They grow well there.  No wonder my kid is always sick.
• Food products containing allergens that area also in the environment are a double whammy.  For example, we're eliminating tree products in spring and fall because she's allergic to trees and grasses.  This should be fun.
• Kids (and adults) can get allergy drops under the tongue in lieu of shots these days.  Neat.
• There's something called a T-Fighter Cell that tells your body to calm down when it comes in contact with an allergen.  Ali, and those like her, have lazy T-cells.  They need a boost to jumpstart them again to start doing their job.
• All my lovely Vegan products have soy in them.  Great.  No more Super Sour Cream for Ali.

Knowledge is power.  And every few months I learn some more.  This pattern seems to tide me over till the next big break. 

Tonight Joel and I had an "Ali Care Meeting" to decide what course(s) of action to pursue.  Luckily, Dr. Fowler didn't push any type of treatment or any timeline.  I appreciate that today, especially in the medical field.  Here's our plan:

1. Purchase a new mattress, pillow, pillow and mattress cases, and Air Purifier (HEPA filter)
2. Ditch the tree products for now.  Almond stuff, stuff that grows on trees.  Pretty much half her diet.  Ugh.  Thank goodness she likes meat and veggies.  We'll go to Rice or Coconut milk if we stay on milk.  I'm leaning toward going off altogether, all of us.
3. Make my own laundry soap and fabric softener.  I'm actually excited.  I read a lot of great reviews, and almost all recipes have 3 or fewer ingredients, last forever, and cost less than $10. 
4. Wash her bedding and vacuum her room once a week at least.  No, I don't do this now.  Shoot me.
5. Increase her daily Zyrtec dose.  If you want to know what to, I'll tell you privately.
6. 1 Tum a day for Calcium (even though I'm not concerned about this)
7. Rotate her menu, mostly lunch and breakfast, M-F.  So she'll have PBJ one day, hot dog one day, spaghetti one day, etc, etc.  This will help her not be exposed to a lot of one food she may be sensitive to many days in a row.

As for now, we're holding on the allergy drops.  We will go back for a follow-up visit in 3 months.  Joel and I are both open to the drops, but we want to try everything else first.  From what I've heard and read, we are expecting great results from the "easy" changes. 

I wish I would've known then what I know now (or didn't know now, if you're a country music fan).  Thank goodness God's timing is perfect.  He has a plan.  I'm thankful for a brain and for the Internet and for doctors and for Alice Jane. 

 

Her little face...

 



This was her "normal" look

 

It was days like this that I felt we weren't getting anywhere





The beginning of Hand, Foot, Mouth - which of course, on her, got infected



 

I don't actually remember what this was.  It was after HFM and Roseola



And even today, her reaction 24 hours after her 2nd skin prick test.  Poor kid can't catch a break

 

What a trooper











Mom Jeans.

I have been made fun of for YEARS (my whole life) for wearing "mom jeans."  Of course, this fashion faux pas is probably one of many I've been criticized for, but hey, when it comes to comfort...

One of the perks of teaching on a college campus is keeping up-to-date on the latest trends - music, fashion, conversation, best smart phone, hairstyle/color, you name it.

However.

2 of the latest "fashion trends" I tend to disagree with, and honestly, I should probably support them because they indeed remind me of the "mom jean" phase.

High-waisted shorts.  Doesn't seem to matter what color, cut, fit,  or size.  Man.  I just can.not do it.  Don't get me wrong - the girls are pretty, I'm not hating on them (is that a college phrase?!)  But the shorts are less than becoming, in my opinion.  And what they do to the body is just the same. 

They're even faded!



And the belt??

Now...if I were to wear them, THIS is the pair I'd choose.  We all know how much I love the 4th of July


 Ok.  2nd trend of which I'm not a fan.  White socks with dress pants.  For a while now, I've thought some guys just don't get it.  Or they're lazy.  Or their wife didn't do laundry in time.  But, no.  I think it's becoming a trend.  I've seen several COOL dudes sport this look.  And let me tell you.  Joel is most definitely cool...but I will not allow this one in our home. 

Cancer. Perspective.

There's a lot I could blog about today...anticipating Spring, my blondes fighting in class, handing out 60's instead of 90's when it comes to grades, Ali cutting her 2-yr molars, Zoey having issues when people "break the rules..."

But instead, my heart is heavy for my friends today.  I have two close, close friends who are both battling different forms of cancer.  They're married.  They have children of their own.  I have another friend who has a son waiting to meet his Mommy and Daddy a half a world away; that being held up by a piece of paper.  I have more than a handful of friends who are in marital (or ex-marital) hell, not sure which way to turn next.

One of my friends who is battling cancer came to tell me not long ago and immediately starting praying for ME, as I cried on her shoulder.  I kept thinking, "Something is wrong with this picture."  But in the moment, you just do what you do.  Most of the time, that's enough. 

I don't believe God causes bad things to happen, but I do believe He allows them.  I believe He ordains them and I believe He is in control of them.  Does that make Him evil or mean or uncaring?  Some would say yes; in the middle of trials, many would say yes.  I believe His will doesn't make Him evil or mean or uncaring.  It makes Him sovereign and just and constant.  And thank goodness someone bigger than me has the things that are also bigger than me under control.  Thank goodness He sent Jesus to die on our behalf, every day, when we feel like dying...or even should die based on ___________.

Perspective says eternity counts.  Perspective says this affliction or quarrel or "unfairness" or anxiousness will pass, maybe even in the next 5 minutes.  What will remain?  

 

Yay for a new bathroom!

Day 1 - Exciting!

Day 2 - I think it already looks way better than it did before!

Day 2 1/2 - Feeling the "spa" feeling

Day 3 - No turning back now!

Day 4 - Zoey told Frank, our tile guy, the walls looked "cute."  He agreed.

Day 5- Almost finished!

Day 6 - Everything back together, minus glass shower doors.  They're coming soon :)

Favorites so far: the built in cubby, the bronze fixtures, and the decreasing dust by the day :)

To leash or not to leash?

As I was spinning this morning, I looked out the window at the Farmer's Market spot and started daydreaming about this spring/summer...taking my family to browse the booths, listen to live music, get honey ice cream (or a breakfast burrito for Joel)...

My thoughts came to an abrupt halt when I pictured Ali -- big enough to walk on her own -- but oh my, what a mess this will be!  Us chasing her in and out of lettuce and watermelons, her running faster and faster, into the parking lot...ok, may not be worth the trip.

Then I remembered...



Yes, I make fun of parents who put their kids on leashes.  I'm sorry.  If you put your kid on a leash, I've made fun of you at some point.  Maybe I should stop if I'm considering doing the same thing.

This one looks happy enough, right!  A cute, puppy leash...






Eeek...this kid looks too old to be on a leash, don't you think?  That's pretty bad...

Even worse!  Maybe a kid on a leash is not that good of an idea.

Got it!  Just give Ali a balloon and she'll be golden!

Just precious.  Zoey helping Ali along...on a leash.  Joel and I can walk the Farmer's Market sans TWO kids. Genius! 



(Don't worry, Mom, I'm not being (too) serious)

"...aaaaand she shuddered."

Truth be told, I made the 2nd-worst meal I can remember last night.  Joel thought it was as bad as what we thought was the worst meal I made since we've been married.  The original "worst" meal was this skillet meal that had turkey, stuffing, corn, diced tomatoes...basically it looked and tasted like dog food.  Horrible.

Last night, I made a recipe Joel picked out; one I was actually excited to try: Avocado Pasta!  My kids love avocados, we all like pasta, should be a win-win.  Not so much. 

First -- I have to publicly confess one of my most stupid moments, mainly for our roommate, Anna.  "Anna, remember that time Joel wanted to see if the blender would work better if he took the top off?  All those blackberries on the kitchen ceiling?  I thought I learned my lesson just by watching.  Guess not.  Last night, the avocado sauce met the blackberries on the ceiling.  STUPID."

Ok, back to the story.  Ali took a bite and shuddered a little.  I chuckled; it was kinda funny.  Zoey tried to be brave and actually ate a few bites until she said, "Mom, I don't like the lemons in it."  Ali took another bite, cringed, and pushed her plate away saying, "Don't like it."  Joel came home, took a bite, and said, "I can't do it."  I actually ate my whole portion, but more out of curiosity than enjoyment...

Oh well, 2 horrible recipes out of a few hundred is ok by me.  Plus, Joel picked it...not me :) 

Here it is...before it went in the trash

Perhaps my best deal to-date: nearly new Asics for $15!!

Yep, it has begun

"Age and weight, please."

I wonder if I'm getting old(er).  I say this because I never feel any different on my birthdays.  I still feel 12.  With a husband and 2 kids. But lately, I just haven't been as "with it" as usual.  I typically have a very high tolerance for stress and activity, multitasking to a degree of danger according to some (most).  These days, though, I get reaaaal tired.  If I sit down on the couch after lunch, I almost always think about taking a nap.  Sometimes I do.  I put off household chores longer than I normally would.  I daydream about going to bed at night.  Sigh.  Maybe life is just catching up with me...finally.

I achieved a big goal I set for myself in January: I worked out, did some kind of intentional exercise, 6 out of 7 days every week for 4 weeks.  I feel great.  I counted calories on every day but Sunday, and even though I probably gained all the weight back I lost each week on Sunday, it was worth it.  (For now). 

As far as actual weight loss goes, I decided I'm not going for a #.  My weight stayed exactly the same for 6 months in 2012.  Then I started fluxuating by 2 lbs.  2 lbs. up, 2 lbs. down.  Blah.  I never made it to my "goal."  But, I didn't have to buy new clothes.  So I started thinking. 

Screw the scale.  What's 2 lbs. in the grand scheme of things?  Sure, it's exhilerating to reach that goal weight,  and believe me, I'd LOVE to.  I weighed the least I've weighed in adulthood after I had Zoey, and that was a major accomplishment to me.  But really, when I feel hungry, and start denying myself food that my body probably needs to refuel - all for a couple pounds - I don't think it's worth it. 

What is worth it is a lifestyle change.  Health is the goal.  Longevity is the goal.  Being in shape and feeling great is the goal.  Not having to suck in my stomach to wear my favorite jeans is the goal. 

Want to join me in the quest for a realistic, attainable, timely - but definitely not measurable or specific, therefore "unsmart" goal?  Here's a great way to start! 

The orange blonde.

There's always one in each class: a beautiful, orange blonde.  Since I'm teaching two classes this semester, I have two :)  Lucky me! 

Last Thursday, I was real nervous.  My kids were quiet.  They were either staring into space or looking at the floor or acting like they hated their life.  Great.  I must be reeeeeal boring.  Was I wearing Anna's infinity scarf the wrong way?  Were they too embarassed to look at me because of it?

That damn scarf.  I tried 3x to put it on and had broken a sweat by the time it was said and done.  The first time, I basically choked myself.  The second and third times, there was this "extra loop" that I ended up just hiding under another layer.

Thank goodness for Friday.  I finally figured out the scarf (yes, I wore it 2 days in a row), and my kids were much more alive.  Or normal.  I think they were just normal.  I don't think my Thursday kids were normal.  The orange blonde on Friday is beauuuuutiful.  I want to ask her who her trainer is.  Or her hair stylist.  Or where she tans...every day.

I'm excited to get back in the groove of teaching.  I actually think I'll have to teach, for real, this year.  All of my kids are juniors, and half of each class has never taken a writing class even though they're journalism students.  It took me half the semester last time to figure that out.  I was dumbfounded.  At least I know what to expect...

In other news, yep, Ali.  Ali is pretending to potty train herself.  She says "sit on the potty" and sits there till she goes.  She throws a fit when I get impatient and try to get her off too soon (like before 5 minutes is up).  She doesn't go every time, but she's definitely figuring it out...

I am NOT potty training her.  I think potty training is the WORST of the good habits to teach kids.  I mean it's beneficial and necessary, but I HATE it more than anything else.  I'm leaving it up to Zoey to make sure Ali gets it.  

Leaving you with a good one...maybe when I gather my thoughts on this one, I'll blog about it. 

Proud Mama.

Is there a difference between being proud in general and being proud of your child?  I hope so...cause I'm having a hard time checking my pride right now when it comes to my first-born. 

I took Zoey to her preschool screening today.  I decided to get her tested with CPS (the public school system here) because I've heard some good things about the program and we're "shopping" programs.  They have a couple different options - one for kids who are a little delayed in any area and one for kids who may be good "mentors" for their peers. 

Secretly, I thought Zoey may qualify for the first option because she says "free" and "fink" for "three" and "think."  Other than that, she really is not developmentally in my opinion.  But who am I to judge?  I'm her mom!  One of the questions on the form was "In what areas does your child excel?"  Um......um.......where do I begin?!  I had no problems filling out the "challenges" question though: Zoey definitely has a hard time waiting her turn to talk :) 

She was really excited for school today.  Julia put cute, cute braids in her hair, and Zoey talked nonstop till we parked.  Of course, she was a little shy at the beginning of the "test."  She refused to say her ABC's.  "Yessssss...maybe she'll get in FOR SURE now." 

No such luck.  99 pts. out of a possible 100.  Darn. 

Wait for it...

..."I'm going to give you this paperwork for the Peer Modeling Program.  You'll probably want to discuss it with your husband."  (Doubtful...sign us up!! No, of course I'll talk to my husband about it)

The Peer Modeling Program means Zoey would start preschool in the fall, half days, 3-4 days a week, in the Columbia Public School system.  12 total kids in the class, 4 kids at her academic level, 8 kids who may be delayed in some area.  2 (TWO) certified teachers in each class. 

I'm thrilled.  Mainly, I'm thrilled because I think this program "fits" our family.  We like being around all different types of people and Zoey likes to be a helper.  I'd love for her (and all of us) to learn to be even more accepting of EVERYONE and although a private school would make me feel more "comfortable," I know this could be a great opportunity for us all.  (Plus...it's cheap...)

So we're supposed to get the call in March, Joel and I will attend a Parents' Info meeting, and then we'll decide. 

Parents' Info Meeting -- does that mean we're old?? 

Where does the time go??

Bathroom Vanity pt. 2

Yay!  Our bathroom vanity came in and Joel picked it up and installed it. 

He also picked up a couple nifty white tile squares just to "see" what it would be like to take one of the existing ones off and put the new ones in their place. 

Hence...

Bathroom vanity replacement turned entire bathroom remodel.

"As the leader of this family, we are going ahead with a full bathroom remodel."

Floor, walls, shower, paint, decor...

It's a small bathroom, not a huge project, but still, a project.  And until then, one bathroom. 

Poor Anna.

TMI.

There's not many things that make a girl feel uglier than having a fever blister on her lip.

I had my first fever blister after I had Ali (along with my first-ever cavities).  Unfortunately, I've had several since then.  They hurt, itch, and are ugly. 

Here's the grossest fever blister story, to-date.

After having just returned from the bathroom where I applied yet another dose of Abreva, I'm sitting at my desk when I get a shock in my mouth.  A tiny bit of liquid that tastes horrible; sour, bitter, horrible.  So horrible I say, "That is gross!" out loud. 

Yep.  My fever blister(s) popped...and the contents dribbled into my mouth. 

Hey -- the title is TMI.  It was your choice to open it and read for yourself. 

Lint-Free Cheese Cloth

Let me start by saying I love my husband.  He's funny and spontaneous and passionate and handy around the house.  So as you're reading this, "Joel, I do love you so much...promise."

What a crazy weekend we had.  I've been thinking about how to document how the Eislebens do home improvement, and decided just to create a timeline.  Hopefully your imaginations will do the rest.

RENOVATING THE MASTER BATHROOM

9:00 a.m. - Joel talks to Phil about how to pour a concrete shower basin.  Phil suggested practicing by building a box out of plywood and 2 x 4's.  I suggested he not put the box in the middle of the yard.  Joel says, "If I get real good at pouring concrete, I can fix our driveway curb."

10:15 a.m. - I suggest putting a pedestal sink in the hall bath and moving the hall bath small vanity into our master bath.  Bad move.  I should've suggested in my head and not out loud.

10:25 a.m. - Joel gathers his tools and disappears upstairs. 

10:45 a.m. - The master bath sink/vanity is sitting in our bedroom.  Yay!  That thing is U-G-L-Y. 

(At this point, I'm swooning because of Joel's above-mentioned spontaneity and passion)

10:50 a.m. - "Before you move that upstairs, I say, I want to wash the floor."  "Already did it," Joel said.  Yessssss.  More points.

11:00ish a.m. - Downstairs hall bath vanity/sink disconnected, moved upstairs, installed.  Wow! This is going well! 

3:30 p.m. - Load up kids, head out to find a pedestal sink.  As soon as I stepped into the Lowe's parking lot, I realized I still had on my black sweat pants with paint stains all over them.  Great.  I hope I don't see someone I know. 

4:00 p.m. - Comparing pedestals with vanity combos, we realize they have our dream vanity.  Back to the pedestal.  Stare a while.  Back to the vanity.  Stare a while more.  Check out the P-Trap Kits (cause of course, there's a leak we didn't know about until the disconnection process).  Back to the pedestals.  I say, "Whatever you want, I'm ok with."  He says, "It's only a $_____ difference, right?"  "Right," I say, trying to remain neutral.  (Really, I'm just praying we find something because there's a vanity sitting in my bedroom and no sink in the hall bath)

4:30 p.m. - We decide to get the dream vanity.  They have 2 in stock!  Yay!  Wait, no they don't.  Their system says they do, but they don't. 

5:00 p.m. - On to Home Depot.  Maybe they have it in stock.  They don't.   They actually have next to nothing. 

"Mooooooommmm!  I'm hungry!"  Oh yeah, it's dinner time.  And I'm still in my sweats.

5:15 p.m. - On to Menard's.  (Sitting in the parking lot, we're trying to remember the jingle...oh yeah..."save big money at Menard's).  Here's hoping.  Walking down aisle #2, Joel says the best line of the day, "Save big money at Menard's my **."  Seriously.  Horrible decision to go there. 

5:30 p.m. - Home we go.  No vanity.  Still in sweats.  Hungry kids.  Vanity in my bedroom.  Joel starts disassembling the hall bath he moved from downstairs to upstairs, moved it back downstairs, reinstalled it.  I did my part and moved our toothbrushes to the girls' bathroom, took a shower, and put on a clean pair of sweats. 

5:40 p.m. - Quick trip to HyVee for dinner materials.  On sale: "Lint-Free Cheese Cloth."  Cause other cheese cloths unfortunately have lint, thus resulting in linty cheese.  Really?!

Sunday morning, 10:45 a.m. - Head to Lowe's to actually buy the P-Trap Kit to fix the leak and order the dream vanity.  "Oh, the system says we have 2 in stock."  Blah blah blah.  We've been through this.  They look for it, tell me something must be wrong with the system because they've been looking for it for 3 weeks in the store (it must be hiding...it's a small item, you know...), and order it with an ETD 7-10 days.  Fine.  No need to clean the bathroom, or the bedroom for that matter, for a couple weeks. 

Monday morning, 9:30 a.m. - Make arrangements for someone to come pick up the ugly vanity sitting in my bedroom and give me $50.  Only 5 more hours until we see if it's too good to be true. 

Who's tired?!

I'm not a supermodel.

Today I took myself to the Victoria's Secret semi-annual sale.  The sale used to be an event I looked forward to twice a year; I even had a budget for it.  Then I got married, had a kid, went part time at work, dieted, had another kid, dieted, you get the picture.

Without going into too much detail, I tried on something I thought my husband would really like.  I took at least 4 of these babies back to the fitting room because, honestly, I had no idea what size I needed.  I started putting the first one on by stepping into it, only to realize it MUST be designed to go over the head.  Take two.  I start sweating, wiggling, jumping around, trying to get it past my...shoulders.  Surely, people.  I gave up and gave in, realizing it was the smallest size I had.  Better luck next time. 

Take two.  No luck.  Starting to feel less like a supermodel.

Take three.  Starting to visualize getting stuck in this thing and having to ask the attendant to please help me get out of it.

Take four.  Feeling fat. 

Take five...there's no take five.

It's the thought that counts, right?!  Stupid marketing, stupid advertising, stupid supermodels.  Some of us are just normal people who want to feel like a supermodel for a night...an hour.  You make it next to impossible.

In other news, Ali pulled a plate out of the trash can and started eating the dried hot dog that was stuck on it.  That child.  (And yes...you'll always know there's a story about her coming because I'll start it with "in other news").

I want to share my current favorite recipe. http://www.food.com/recipe/apple-bread-20549

Yum.  It's completely customizable.  I made one batch of apple muffins and one batch of blueberry muffins.  Because of Ali's restrictions, I substituted applesauce for the eggs (3 Tbsp per egg) and today, the batter seemed a little dry so I added a bit of almond milk.  I usually always 1/2 the recipe and make muffins instead of a loaf of bread.  Best part: the batter is safe to eat because there are no raw eggs in it!  You'll quickly learn...I'm a batter freak. 

Juice.

Last night, J and I watched Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead.  It's a documentary about a guy who goes on a 60-day juice fast to try and save his life.  It was super interesting and impactful.  About 10 min. before it was over, Joel goes into the kitchen and returns with a bag of baby carrots.  He starts chomping away, and I realized it must've impacted him as well. 

He said, "I could juice breakfast and lunch and then eat a regular dinner."  I told him I had been thinking of doing this since last year when my friend Brenda taught me how to make a green smoothie. 

I, of course, used this very wide open door to mention how great it'd be to have a Vitamix. 

He was SO on board, we almost had a Vitamix by the end of the night!  Alas, we're still on the hunt. 

I went to bed thinking about juice, woke up thinking about juice, and during my trip to SAM's, bought apples, oranges, dried cherries and blueberries, and raw almonds, because, well, "you have to start somewhere." 

(I also bought J a 36-pack of Pepsi during my shopping trip, but we'll ignore that fact for now)

Watch out: as soon as I get my hands on a Vitamix you'll never hear the end of it.

In other news, Ali busted her lip yesterday.  As Joel said, "She had it coming to her."  She insists on climbing on our tall kitchen chairs, whether we're watching or not.  This time, she fell off and hit her mouth on the wood trim.  I was sleeping (or attempting), but I'm sure she dusted herself off and tried again. 

Conversation as Joel was leaving for work this morning:

J: Opens the fridge and takes out the bag of carrots he started munching on last night
J: "Do we have any bananas?"
L: "No."
J: "Apples?"
L: No.  We have grapefruit..."
J: Grunt

Oh well.  If he only knew how tasty they are!

 

One day, this beauty will be mine...