I find it fitting that Ali goes around the house singing, "You make beautiful fings (things) out of dusssssssssss (dust)." She sings this phrase at least twice a day, sometimes more. She and I must be learning the same thing at the same time. Jesus makes beautiful things out of the dust. He makes beautiful things out of us.
Yep, I have some messed up friends. Actually, I was thinking about it this morning, and I think I have more messed up friends than I have "normal" friends. I couldn't even count on one hand the number of so-called normal friends I have.
What is normal, anyway?
Maybe I have so many messed up friends because I am messed up. We are messed up. Joel and I are messed up. Lord knows, Zoey and Ali are messed up.
Almost a year ago, I was reminded of how messed up I really am. I (we) was going through one of the hardest seasons in my life. Luckily, during this time, I was also reminded that I (we) had a lot of really messed up friends. They stood by us, cried with us (literally), and cheered us on. And for now, at least, we are on the other side.
Now - about those messed up friends - some of them are still really messed up. There are job losses. Serious health crises. And many, many affairs, broken marriages, addictions. Maybe it's our age? Our season of life? People get bored, they think the grass is greener, they are at the fork in the road - one way leads to selfishness, the other to selflessness. I think we all know which way is "easier..."
So do I stay or do I run away. I mean who wants to be the friend of the messed up friend?! It's not like it's something you look at and say, "Sign me up!" If you choose to get involved, you're basically accepting a few months (or years) of drama, uncomfortable dinners, and forced conversations. I would've hated to be my friend a year ago! I wanted to hang out with you, but I didn't. I wanted to laugh, but I didn't. I wanted to "just move on," but I didn't. I couldn't.
God wasn't finished with me yet. He wasn't finished with us yet. He wasn't finished with my friends yet. They were learning how to be better friends. I learned how to be a better friend. We all learned how to be messed up friends to our messed up friends.
I'm (we're) out of that mess...for now. I'm 100% positive there will be another fork in the road, or 2, or 87. I now have a choice to pay it forward. Do I escape the drama and leave my messed up friends with one less messed up friend to rely on? Or do I enter the drama and choose to see them through to the other side? And then the next side and the next side and the next.
Do I choose to leave when it's easy and miss out on the uncomfortable dinners and forced conversations and... their Redemption's Story?
I don't blame the people who had to bow out when the going was tough during my early-life-crisis. But I am sad I don't get to share with them my (our) Redemption Story in its purest, rawest, saddest, most beautiful form.
During my recent 12-hour drive, these thoughts came full circle when this song came on my playlist. Yes, I want to be found faithful in the relationships I've been granted. But friendships come and go and we all mess up and I will mess up. I will not always be faithful. But Jesus is always faithful to me, and in the end, I want to be found faithful to Him.
Thanks to those who have been faithful to me (us), and those who will be in the days to come. Thanks for giving me a glimpse of the perfect faithfulness of Jesus. I pray I can be the same to you in this long, but momentary life.
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